I just have to be me.

I'm not here to see how much money I can make or how successful I can become, and I'm not here to find the perfect man and have a perfect family or a perfect life. I'm only here to live my life, experience it, every bit of it, to the fullest, to not have any regrets but learn from all of my experiences, to laugh when I do something dumb, to hang out with people who make me happy, and to love, with everything in me I am here to love, to love myself and all of my flaws, to love my life no matter what I may be going through at the time because it's the only one I have and I don't want to squander any of my time with unhappiness, to love those around me even if they make me want to punch them, and above all else to love God. I'm not a perfect person, nor will I claim to be, I make mistakes and mess up all the time, but no one is perfect except One. I will live my life and I will enjoy it. Who knows where I'll end up or what my life will become but I will find happiness in wherever I go and whatever I do. People today have an outlook on how life is "supposed" to be and it shouldn't be that way. Everyone thinks you have to go to college or you have to get married and have kids and you should make sure you do both at a relatively young age, but life is whatever you want it to be. You could decide to be single for the rest of your life and be perfectly happy. Would society look at you like you were crazy? Yeah, of course they would. That's not "normal". But do we really want to be normal? Like everyone else? I for one was made to be a unique creation and that's what I am. I don't need to be normal or to be thought of as normal to be happy. I really wasn't ready for college until now. I actually want to learn now. But the world told me I wouldn't go back and I had to go straight after high school, let me tell you something, the world was wrong. I'll do what I want and in my own time. I'm almost 22 and everyone around me my age seems to be getting married and having kids. Well I'm not ready for all of that yet, who knows if I ever will be. Maybe I just haven't found the "right guy" or maybe he just doesn't exist. Either way I'm fine. I'm perfectly happy on my own, just as I would be happy if I found true love. I don't depend on anyone for happiness because you choose whether or not you're happy. So what do I want in life or out of life? I want to always love myself and see myself as a beautiful creation of God no matter how many wrinkles I get, I want to try and live healthier so I can always have a full life, I want to laugh and have fun with the ones I love, I want to create, experience and teach art, I want to photograph everything, I want to hold in my memory each special moment in my life, I want to enjoy what I do, I want to know I can be independent if I want to be, I want to always appreciate what I have no matter how little that may be, I want to freely forgive when I am wronged, I want to see the world, I want to look at life with new perspectives, I don't want to do something just because society thinks it's what I should do, I don't want to be over my head in debt, I don't want to have a family and be depressed, if I have children I want them to express themselves and be kids for as long as they can before they think they have to grow up, I hope I never grow up, and I hope to be a light in this dark world. I know I'm not always going to be because I tend to be stupid from time to time but I hope somehow and in some way I can effect someone, and I hope to be remembered. I don't necessarily want to be remembered by many or because I've done something extraordinary but remembered because of who I am. I'm not perfect but I'm okay with that. I've finally realized that I don't have to be. I just have to be me.