Am I lost?

I often times feel lost. Do you ever feel that way? Like you’re wandering aimlessly through time? I feel like my life lacks purpose recently. I hope that I’m making Devin happy, and I work almost every day, and I try to keep the house in order, but it just doesn’t seem like I’m doing anything of importance. The only thing that really gives me joy is spending time with Devin. That’s what I look forward to everyday. I feel like that’s selfish of me though. It gives me joy and I hope it gives him happiness, but I’m not really doing anything in my life to help others or to leave an impact on the world. I’m not really sure what to do or what I would have time to do. It just seems that I’m so tired lately. I honestly just wish I had three whole days to do nothing but sleep. I used to do that all the time when I would get depressed. I’m not necessarily depressed at this moment, but I just feel drained, and lost. I think maybe it’s because I haven’t had time to do anything artsy lately. I haven’t drawn anything in forever and it’s been months since I’ve been to a concert. I’m going to see The Wizard of Oz at The Barter Theatre this Saturday so I’m hoping that helps. I started another blog called Abingdon Artists but I have yet to update it. A part of me feels that I’m not knowledgeable enough about music to have that sort of blog. I need someone that knows more about the dynamics to give me some insight. Maybe I could interview the audience and the bands or something. I haven’t really been taking as many pictures lately either. I guess because of all the stress of trying to make sure we have enough money for everything I’ve forgotten to make time for myself and to do the things I enjoy. I enjoy spending time with Dev and watching Dragon Ball Z and whatnot, but I need to set aside some time for me to be creative. I feel like it all just gets built up inside of me and if I don’t have an outlet I may explode. As I’ve said before, writing helps a lot as well. I also currently have a kidney stone so that’s not really helping with my mood either. I’ve just been a regular Negative Nancy lately and I have to find a way to turn that around. That’s not who I am. I need to find the energy to do the things I need to do, help the people I want to help, and leave a lasting impression on this world before I’m no longer in it.